September 10, 1980; 9/11/2001

28 years ago, I was a teacher's aide in 2 Kindergarten classes. On Thursday afternoon, the 9th, Avery, our neighbor called to say there was a bald eagle perched in her pine tree - I went out and took a photo of it. The next day, as I drove down our street, (I was living in my parents' house, paying rent) I saw two ambulances parked in front of the house. As I drove down the street, a neighbor (not Avery) ran out into the road to flag me down... "Who is it?" I asked, "Mom or Dad?" The neighbor started saying calming things - but I wanted an up-front answer, so I started to drive on and park my car in it's usual spot. The neighbor thought I wouldn't be able to park my own car - but I did. I asked again, going across the front yard to the door - "Who? Mom or Dad?" She finally said, "It's your Dad."

I guess I had led a sheltered life - I had not gone to any funerals in my life, and the first dead person I saw was my father. It was a shock. It wasn't my father. It was an empty husk that had contained my father. Since that time, I've had to deal with the deaths of my parents-in-law, my mother, and my husband died in my arms. I've seen a free flying bald eagle, or one in a tree each day before each of those deaths. I think that the bald eagle is a wonderful symbol for America, but to me it means death is near.

Tomorrow is the seventh anniversary of September 11th - a very nasty day in our history. Jeff, my husband, and I were in a courthouse in Manassas, Virginia when we first got the news that a plane had flown into the New York Trade Towers. By the time we had finished our testifying duties, rumors were flying like mad - and we could only pick up an all-news radio station from downtown Washington, DC - they didn't know what was happening either. As we drove back to our home, the radio reported on the collapse of both towers, and the plane that had flown into the Pentagon. It also reported that there were explosions on the Capitol Mall, and that the entire Mall was on fire. Because of the trial that Jeff and I had to testify at, I had not gone to work that day - I did not take the subway underneath the Pentagon as I usually did, an I did not get trapped at work, 27 miles from home with no way to get home.
Some of my co-workers told me of their experiences trying to get to their homes that day - and I am blessed not to have been one of them. One man lived in Baltimore - it took him 16 hours to get since; several co-workers lived "across town" and usually took the subway or buses, both of which shut down - it took them 5 to 8 hours to make it through the panicked crowds in the streets and arrive home.

So, for me, both September 10th and 11th are days that will always fill me with sadness and regret. As with the bombing of Pearl Harbor, both days in September will be days "that live in infamy" to me.