A Tribute to Theoda Smith Nocks

Aunt Theoda passed away yesterday evening. I do not think that a family member was there with her in her last hours, because her daughter did not let anyone in the family know that her Mother had stopped eating ten days ago, and that the daughter had approved of water given only orally. Now, please don't read this the wrong way. I'm certain that's what Aunt Theoda would have wanted, in the end. But it would have been nice if her daughter had told other family members that her Mother was not long for the world. Aunt Theoda has been in the hospital, followed by a nursing home since falling and breaking her hip more than five years ago. After her hip replacement, she would not do her physical therapy; after 9 months in the rehab facility, she began showing signs of Alzheimer's. For the last three years, Aunt Theoda has not recognized anyone within the family when they visited. Elenor, Aunt Theoda's only surviving child, called and informed my cousin Sarah of her Grandmother's death with very little feeling. Sarah, who had grown up seeing her Grandparents every weekend, if not every day, was stunned by the death, as Elenor had not told anyone that Aunt Theoda was failing. Sarah and her sister Pam would have been there in a heart-beat to sit with their Grandmother; to talk to her, share memories, read to her, and discuss family times together even if she could not respond. Instead, Aunt Theoda died alone.
Aunt Theoda was one of those who grew up during the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl years; she and her family were of old farmer stock, and, like the Nocks family, the Smith family made do with what they had when they had it. They worked hard, they played hard, and they loved deeply. Aunt Theoda married Uncle El while she was in high school, but managed to finish her senior year, while Uncle El worked on a neighbor's farm. While Uncle El served in the Navy, Aunt Theoda worked their own farm and raised their kids, two sons and a daughter. Uncle El was a good farmer, and preferred to use the horse and plow on a field, rather than a tractor. Aunt Theoda raised prize-winning rabbits, domestic fowl, and usually won the baking contests at the local fairs. She was brought up to believe in community service, and, up until her fall and broken hip, she drove other locals without transportation to and from doctor and hospital appointments, even if it kept her out and about all day. Uncle El passed away quite suddenly, from a heart attack, like my Dad, his brother. Aunt Theoda spent three months recovering from the loss of her love, and set out once more, doing kindnesses for her community.
Theoda Smith Nocks will be greatly missed by all who knew her.