28 January 2018

Today is my Mom's birthday.  Were she still here, she'd be 97 years old.  She was the second child born to a man with dual citizenship (American and Swedish), who was a net mender and waterman, and the first born daughter of people who were generations long Chincoteaguers, with the exception of the Danish grandfather.  Mom was a born and raised Teaguer, but was always in love with the Old West of America.
    We always spoke on her birthday, wherever I was located... England, Colorado, Florida.  We were speaking on the telephone, and both of us were watching the launch of the space shuttle Challenger, when it exploded.  We had no words to convey our feelings of loss to each other....  Mom was always there for me.  She did worry a lot of my friends, because she wore bifocals, and, if she was near a person, she had a tendency to "look down her nose" at people, so she could see them clearly.  A lot of my friends thought that she was showing dislike, and I had to explain that she was just trying to see them clearly...
    We had great adventures together.  Dad had always said he was taking her to England to see the Crown jewels when he retired.  Well, Dad died before he could retire, so Mom and I went to look at the Crown jewels together.  We rented a car and drove through England, visiting Newmarket, the home of English horse racing.  We saw plays, went to Windsor Castle, went to the Royal Mews and saw the Gold Coach, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves in book stores and shops.  We went to FanFare in Nashville, Tennessee, and Mom got to meet Loretta Lynn, while I got a kiss from Marty Robbins; and we went to the Grand Ole Opry and Opryland Park.   I also took her horse racing in Delaware, where she had a blast.  My sister Kathy took her to Alaska, and on several cruises.
   Unfortunately, a stroke, followed by Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, dulled her interest in outside things.  She stopped reading, but loved to watch old movies and television shows.  She never ceased in her love of Raymond Burr's portrayal of Perry Mason.  She would slip from the present to the past in a heartbeat, and it was, occasionally, difficult to follow her time periods... 
    She passed away in her sleep, during an afternoon nap, a few months before she would turn 81...  It was the same way that Dad went, peacefully, in sleep in mid-afternoon.  I hope I go that way, too.
   I love you, Mom!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

One of the interesting things about Mothers Day, for me is the history of the family.  My Mother was born and raised on Chincoteague Island, Virginia, with a few months, here and there over the years, in old New York City near the Fulton Fish Market.  Mom was the second-oldest, and when her Mother died, my Mom raised the two younger kids, so my sister and I were Mom's second set of kids to raise.  Several of the local Chincoteague men asked Mom to marry them, but Mom always said, "We've known each other since we were born.  I love you like a brother, but I can't marry you."  Then she fell in love with a deeply tanned man with reddish-black hair and green eyes from the Naval Air Station on the Mainland, while she was working in the PX.
   My Mother's Mother, Aleda, was wooed as a 15 year-old by a waterman who was a boarder at her grandparents' house across the lane.  I only know a few things about my grandmother - we have a postcard photo of her in a dress and holding a few flowers, and my cousin Aleda looks exactly like our Grandma Aleda...  Aleda died almost 20 years before my birth, due to cancer.  My Mom told several different versions to us girls - she told me that Aleda died from "cancer of the blood," which I thought meant leukemia; she told my sister that Aleda died from cervical cancer; and Mom told her sister, who told her daughters, that Aleda died of ovarian cancer...  I should order her death certificate and find out.   A week after her 16th birthday, Aleda "eloped" to Maryland with my grandfather, and they were married under the Marriage Oak, a huge tree just over the state line...   But we do know that Grandma Aleda had a temper.  Her father took contract jobs through various people and agencies - including the US Coast Guard, who were in charge of running and maintenance on both the Assateague Lighthouse and the Killock Shoal Lighthouse.  Great-grandfather paid my grandfather, his son-in-law and Aleda's husband, a small portion of cash to take care of the lighthouses in his stead.  Grandma Aleda and Cap'n Walt had four children, and scrambled pretty hard to make ends meet.  It was right after the Wall Street Crash in 1929, when Grandma Aleda went to ask her father about payment for the lighthouse care.  Great-grandpa wasn't at home, so Grandma started looking at his ledgers - and found out that her father was keeping three-quarters of what the US Coast Guard was paying for the lighthouse care, while only paying his son-in-law one quarter of the income.  Mom said it took almost a year before Grandma would speak to her father again - and he ended up paying Grandpa 90 percent of the contract money because Grandma said she'd turn him in to the government...   Wow...

Seven Degrees At Seven A. M.

Our overnight low temperature was three degrees; at 7 a.m. it was 7; now, at 9:30, it's 12 degrees outside. The forecast high ranges between 26 and 35 degrees; I am, once, again, staying home.  Last night, one of my neighbors wanted me to go out with her - she stopped by the door at 7:30 last night, and asked if I could loan her $20 (to apply to her phone bill, so it wouldn't be cut off).  I told her that I had $10, and she could have that.  She said it wasn't enough to keep her phone on, and I told her it was all I had.  She ended up taking the money, to "buy kitty food and Nancy food."  Then she wanted to use the money to go out and eat supper at Burger King or McDonald's; I told her that I hadn't been outside and I wasn't going outside.  I believe she wanted me to walk by the grocery store with her, so I could withdraw more money and give it to her.  I told her that I'd be happy to take her out to lunch or supper on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday - but not before.  Then she asked if she could come over and eat at my apartment, after she shopped.  I said yes, but mentally sighed.  Luckily, she decided she was too tired after shopping, and called to say she was going to bed.  As I was in the middle of working on family genealogy, I was relieved, as it meant I could continue working.
  I feel sorry for this person - she has a lot of problems - but my therapist and psychiatrist have told me to avoid her, and I do my best.  She's an adopted child, and has had both drug and alcohol addictions.  She makes very poor choices and then blames others.  If you wanted to find a category to fit her in, the title "Drama Queen" would best suit her.  Her adoptive mother passed away seven months ago, but she reacts as if it were yesterday.  She was extremely proud, that in December, she had paid her rent (at the age of 48) without any help from anyone.  Later that week, I felt compelled to purchase cat food, kitty litter, and toilet paper for her and her kitties.  Since that time, she has "borrowed" over $50 in food, soap, and toilet paper, borrowed a 35-pound container of kitty litter, and then last night's borrow of $10...   The second week of December, she met a homeless man on her job, and "fell in love" with him.  He lived in her apartment and she fed him and clothed him until New Years.  He broke up with her on Facebook, and called her naive and stupid - this, after she arranged for him to be hired as a co-worker with her.  Last night, she informed me he had already married someone else, and she (of course) now hates going to work because she has to work with him....  She is emotionally and mentally needy, and while I can give support to her occasionally, I really can't feed into her needs.
  Folk singer Pete Seeger passed away yesterday at the age of 94.  It feels like the end of an era to me.  I'm trying to remember where I saw/heard him sing - I know that Dad took me, and I had thought it was at one of the University of Florida filmings of Hootenanny, but I just found out that Pete was banned from that show, causing a lot of other folk singers and groups to boycott it.  (That was interesting reading!)
  And, finally, today is my Mother's birthday - she would have been 93 years old today.  A lot of my friends thought that Mom didn't like them, because she was always tilting her head back and looking down her nose at them - it was to see them through the lenses of her bifocals, so she could see them well.  She never knew that a lot of my friends felt alienated by it...  But she was a good Mother - first she raised my Aunt Ruth and Uncle Howard, after their Mother passed away; and then she raised Kathy and me.  Just about anything was OK with Mom - hair, clothing, books, movies... And at least when she passed away, having Alzheimer's Disease, she had regressed to her childhood, and always re-lived good memories.  Bless you, Mom. Thanks for anything and everything that you did for me. I love you.

Happy Mothers Day!

Today is a special day in the United States, set aside for all of us to thank our maternal parent for everything she has done for us - she gave us birth, loved us, taught us, and did her best to mold us into a good person.  My sister and I think of ourselves as the second set of children that our Mother raised - her own Mother passed away when she was in her early teens, and she had a younger brother and sister to raise in her Mother's place.  Mom grew up during the Depression, and valued saving, honesty, knowledge, and laughter.  She knew what items cost and easily decided what could be afforded, and what couldn't.  It was simple black and white back then, and even as we were growing up, as our parents did not believe in buying on credit.  The only exception to that was in getting a mortgage for our house and when purchasing a car...
Bless all Mothers, every where in the world today!

Left to right:  Earl Gordon, Millie Johnson Nocks, and Charlie Nocks  -  1948

Mom's Birthday

If my Mother were still alive, she'd be 92 years old today, and that just doesn't seem possible.  It is true, however, even if my mind doesn't want to stretch time back that far.  Dad would turn 90 in March.  It just doesn't seem right, somehow.  I can easily accept the fact that I'm 56, heading for 57 now; but Mom and Dad being that age? No way!  My first real recollection of their faces comes from when I was four years old and we were living in Kingsville, Texas; Dad was still in the Navy, and every two weeks he took Kathy, my sister, and I to ride horseback at King's Ranch Livery stable.  Kathy rode a beautiful bay mare named Cricket, and I rode an old-timer whose name was White Cloud.  Kathy and the other kids would walk, jog and lope around this huge field - since I was so small, and was sitting on a 16-hand horse, White Cloud just sort of ambled about - he went where I wanted to go, because I knew about reining, and he was an old cow horse, but we walked slowly. Everywhere.  We just walked.  One day, I caught White Cloud in the flank with a corn stalk, and he crow hopped a little bit.  I was ecstatic!  We had done something other than walk! I looked back toward my parents, and Mom's face was blue-white, while Dad was laughing hard with a red face.  Mom was scared that I'd fall off, and Dad was laughing because I was laughing. ....
   Mom gave me life, and taught me to love books and reading.  She inspired me with tales of hardship of early Chincoteaguers, and things she could easily remember, as the Island was so isolated.  She planted the seed for love of knowledge of the past, for the love of art work and creative sewing.  She was never an epicurean, but she definitely taught me how to cook and bake.  I was always amazed to hear what simple, small things brought her pleasure when she was a child - and now I find that I find those same things endearing and heart-warming.  Mom taught me to love totally, and to forgive those that hurt me, and to give as generously as I am able to good causes and things I believe in.
  Here's to Mildred Louise Johnson Nocks, a woman who was good, in every sense of the word.

Chilly Out...

We got about an inch of snow yesterday - it's already gone from the roads and most of the grassy areas, even though it's only 25 degrees out this morning.  Our back yard is another story, and the snow still covers about 90% of the ground.  The forecasters say we'll have another snow like yesterday's on Wednesday.  My kits have been running in and out, and are now curled up on the afghan for a nap.  ...  Suki has been buried in the Snow family garden, next to Banichi, Paddle and Lily.  She will be missed.  The only times I ever saw her in a "bad mood" were when Boo, her daughter, was either dragging her around by her collar, or when Boo would not let go of her tail.  She was a very happy dog, and willing to try anything new - food or exercise.  She loved the water, and she loved to pull either a sled or a person on skis.

Black Caviar, the undefeated Australian mare, won her 17th race in a row.  It's reported that she might be running in Canada next month.  ....  What caused me to raise my eyebrows was that Rachel Alexandra and her new colt, born January 22, were taken to the Rood and Riddle Equine Clinic "as a precautionary measure" because RA still seems to be suffering from the pains of her delivery.  I've been around multiple horses before, during, and after delivery, and the only one I know that experienced any trouble ended up having to be put down with an incurable illness.  So my question is, what is really happening with Rachel A?  In the one photo released of her and her colt, she doesn't look like a happy mother....

Today is my Mother's birthday.  She would have been 91, if she was still with us.  I will celebrate her birth; she raised two separate families - her own younger brother and sister, and Kathy and me.  She grew up working hard, hunting and fishing, gardening, clamming, crabbing and oystering.  Her Mom taught her how to can fruits and vegetables, and her Dad taught her to make and bottle beer and root beer.  She loved a good laugh, loved to tease, loved to read, loved a good party (it had to include music, dancing and drinking) and loved a good cigar.  Rest in peace, Mom.