Odd Newspaper Headlines

I have been running around like a maniac these past few days, but I have also had a few good laughs at newspaper headlines...  I realize that newspaper headers frequently leave out words, and are sometimes worded just to grab one's attention.  My Dad loved to find typo's and would chuckle for hours over them.  The one I remember best was an excerpt from a local police report that stated (and the emphasis is mine, not the paper's):  A woman reported and man and a moustache were peering into her bathroom window.
   Earlier this week there was a headline in a British County paper that I receive that said, "Naked Man in Devizes Found With Cannabis."  I realize that marijuana is illegal in most places, and even while it's legal here in Colorado, the amount one can legally have in one's possession is quite small.  With that headline, I mentally pictured a naked man in the High Street, clasping a whole sheaf (or  even an entire shock) of 6-foot-tall fully leaved marijuana stalks.  All the article said was that police had responded to a phone report of a naked man in a yard.  The man was 25 years old and had "three twists" of marijuana inside a silver-colored tin that was in his possession.   -  I guess I'm weird.  I like the first mental image much better!
  In yesterday's local Boulder paper, the e-version of the paper had the headline, "Man repeatedly stabs car, charged with attempted murder." That one really had me scratching my head, so I had to read it.  At a busy intersection, near the University and opposite a large shopping center, a man was reported to police for stabbing a knife into cars that were stopped for the traffic light.  Police responded, and saw the man stab the knife into the hoods of several vehicles, and slash along the fenders of several others.  The police officer got out of his car, identified himself, and told the man to drop the knife and stand still.  The man turned on the policeman and made jabbing motions with the knife.  (It must be said that the knife in question had a three-inch blade, so it must have been a pocket-knife or a paring knife...) The policeman attempted to use his Tazer on the knife-wielding man.  The suspect had on multiple layers of sweaters and jackets, and the electrodes did not penetrate the materials.  The suspect then leaped at a car stopped for the light, and, according to the female driver, "locked his eyes with hers."  He then began stabbing the hood of the car, and the windshield, with his 3-inch blade, while staring at the woman.  The policeman again tried to Tazer the suspect, without success.  The suspect swung his knife at the officer again.  The officer pulled his service revolver, and the suspect began to run away.  The officer tackled the suspect without firing his weapon, hand-cuffed him, and placed him inside the cruiser. The woman, whose car was attacked, and had "locked eyes" with the suspect swore that she knew the suspect was trying to kill her - therefore the attempted murder charge.  On the way to the police station, the suspect made several statements that he was very disappointed because he had wanted "to commit suicide by cop."  The suspect is a homeless man who claims to be from Utah.  He is undergoing psychiatric evaluation at this time.
   The other local incident didn't have an odd headline - but at the Asian restaurant next door, the female owner/manager fired a waitress on the spot, in front of customers, at a table the waitress was serving.  The waitress ran into the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and threw it at the owner/manager.  The knife grazed the forehead of the lady as she was entering the kitchen - she staggered back out into the eating area with blood pouring down her face.  Several kitchen workers and customers called 911, and the suspect was arrested in our parking lot, where she had sat down and was crying....
   Just another day in Boulder.