I spent my morning walk with Rosie trying to think up a few insults that would easily roll off my tongue. Why? Because of what I wrote yesterday. It seems that people of today just don't want to use their brains anymore. If you care to notice, while watching television, or today's movies, writers and actors seem to be stuck in a rut when it comes to insults. As I remarked yesterday, the three people, whose identities I now know, hurled names and insults back and forth for three to five minutes. Today's cursing seems to be repetitive use of the F-word (in various forms), and calling other people s-o-bs, illegitimate, or a m-f-er. Occasionally, but very rarely, a female will be called a four-letter word for a female orifice. The words stupid, idiot, fat, and stubborn are sometimes thrown into the mix. Very rarely will you hear any other words used these days, unless you are watching a "period piece," set in times past or a fantasy world.
I thought I came up with a few really disgusting insults this morning, and was pretty happy with myself. Then I realized that I haven't gotten into a name-calling fight in more than 50 years... so what good would my insults do me? I saw a friend much later this afternoon, and I gave him my five insults. He laughed and said they were really gross, but very few people today would (a) understand them or (b) be insulted, because they didn't understand them. He then said that his favorite come-back, if someone started to try to pick a word fight with him, was this: "You really must be miserable. You must hate to look in a mirror. I feel sorry for you, because you're so ugly. If I were that ugly, my own face would scare me so bad that I'd turn into a Democrat/Republican (the opposite of that person's political tendencies)." I laughed.
My insults?
1. You are slimier than a syphilitic, smegma smeared lick-spittle.
2. You are a swine swyving, pustule pocked, wart-producing toad.
3. You're a crop-eared, noseless, branded jackanapes dressed up in (whatever they are wearing).
4. A tadpole has more brain than you do.
5. Your IQ is so low that it's in the negative numbers.
Showing posts with label insults. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insults. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
Mishmash
I have to agree with Cris Collinsworth last night - what possessed the Seahawks to try a pass play, when all they had to do was hand the ball to Marshawn Lynch once or twice and they'd win the game? The stupidity of that play will stand in solitude for a long time.... If you don't know by now, the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl by a four point margin, after an interception of a pass play on the half-yard line that coaches told Russell Wilson to play. Marshawn Lynch was unstoppable running last night, and I just don't know why they didn't let him run it in....
I am still trying to grasp the fact that a 3-year-old child, while rummaging in his mother's purse for an i-phone, pulled out a pistol and shot both his father and mother with one bullet. The couple and their son, and younger daughter, were living in a hotel room in New Mexico. The bullet struck the man in the buttocks, then went through his pregnant wife's shoulder. Police have ruled the shooting accidental, but are thinking of bringing criminal negligence charges against the parents. The boy's sister was unharmed.
On the Eastern Shore of Maryland, a young man struck a deer on a two-lane road in the Pocomoke Forest. The deer had two broken hind legs, and the young man was going to kill the deer, with a gun, to end its' suffering. Another car came along, saw the scene, and stopped. The passenger from the second car approached the young man from the first car and began yelling at him to let nature take it's course. I don't know what the rest of the exchange was, but the young man with the gun shot buckshot into the passenger from the second car, and then shot him again in the back of his legs, as the passenger ran back to his car. The passenger went home, called the police and an ambulance, and was taken to the hospital for treatment. The two people had the license tag number of the first car, and gave that to the police. The deer, in the meantime, had died. Police went to the home of the owner of the first car, and arrested the young man - two hours after he legally turned 18 years old.
I was very excited to see the new episode of The Blacklist last night. The first five minutes of the show, however, were marred by the yelling of three people, either in the lobby, or on the stairs of my apartment complex. There were two men and a woman involved in the shouting match, and, to hear my television program, I had to turn the volume up six notches. I was also distressed that it was just tawdry name-calling - the usual "s-o-b"s, bastards, and "m-fer"s, with a lot of f words thrown in. People today have no imagination when it comes to name calling and insults. It was extremely boring and monotonous. I did not call the police - I just wanted to see my show. So when I was awakened at 12:55 this morning by one of the same voices, again, yelling in the lobby, I stuck my head out my door and yelled, "Hold it down, please, or I'll call the police!" It turns out the noise was one of the idiots in the earlier yelling match complaining to the police, whom he had called - more than 4 hours after the incident happened. He wanted the police to jail the other two people, whom he claimed had called him "the N word." The guy is white, and I never heard the N word, but he was threatening the police that he was going to call the ACLU because his personal rights had been infringed upon, because the other two people had called him the N word.... Crazy. I had to give a statement to the police, and then went back to bed. Benjamin, the yeller, who lives in A-101, called the police again at 3:30 this morning and was again yelling in the lobby. He is not a good neighbor, and I hope his lease is not renewed.
I am still trying to grasp the fact that a 3-year-old child, while rummaging in his mother's purse for an i-phone, pulled out a pistol and shot both his father and mother with one bullet. The couple and their son, and younger daughter, were living in a hotel room in New Mexico. The bullet struck the man in the buttocks, then went through his pregnant wife's shoulder. Police have ruled the shooting accidental, but are thinking of bringing criminal negligence charges against the parents. The boy's sister was unharmed.
On the Eastern Shore of Maryland, a young man struck a deer on a two-lane road in the Pocomoke Forest. The deer had two broken hind legs, and the young man was going to kill the deer, with a gun, to end its' suffering. Another car came along, saw the scene, and stopped. The passenger from the second car approached the young man from the first car and began yelling at him to let nature take it's course. I don't know what the rest of the exchange was, but the young man with the gun shot buckshot into the passenger from the second car, and then shot him again in the back of his legs, as the passenger ran back to his car. The passenger went home, called the police and an ambulance, and was taken to the hospital for treatment. The two people had the license tag number of the first car, and gave that to the police. The deer, in the meantime, had died. Police went to the home of the owner of the first car, and arrested the young man - two hours after he legally turned 18 years old.
I was very excited to see the new episode of The Blacklist last night. The first five minutes of the show, however, were marred by the yelling of three people, either in the lobby, or on the stairs of my apartment complex. There were two men and a woman involved in the shouting match, and, to hear my television program, I had to turn the volume up six notches. I was also distressed that it was just tawdry name-calling - the usual "s-o-b"s, bastards, and "m-fer"s, with a lot of f words thrown in. People today have no imagination when it comes to name calling and insults. It was extremely boring and monotonous. I did not call the police - I just wanted to see my show. So when I was awakened at 12:55 this morning by one of the same voices, again, yelling in the lobby, I stuck my head out my door and yelled, "Hold it down, please, or I'll call the police!" It turns out the noise was one of the idiots in the earlier yelling match complaining to the police, whom he had called - more than 4 hours after the incident happened. He wanted the police to jail the other two people, whom he claimed had called him "the N word." The guy is white, and I never heard the N word, but he was threatening the police that he was going to call the ACLU because his personal rights had been infringed upon, because the other two people had called him the N word.... Crazy. I had to give a statement to the police, and then went back to bed. Benjamin, the yeller, who lives in A-101, called the police again at 3:30 this morning and was again yelling in the lobby. He is not a good neighbor, and I hope his lease is not renewed.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Foolish, Silly Me
I misbehaved yesterday. I had finally had enough with the bad attitudes of other people. I thoroughly enjoyed my small act of defiance - and I'm extremely lucky that the other person didn't decide to harm me with things other than words. As I said, it was fun during and afterwards, but now, looking back in cold blood, it was certainly foolish. The following exchange had some "dirty" words included. I try to write a G-rated blog, but sometimes it isn't possible, as people (in general) have become so appallingly foul-mouthed.
I was walking on a narrow strip of sidewalk, on my way to the bus stop. Beside me, there was a 3.5 foot wide designated bike path, totally clean and totally clear of riders, that adjoins the street. A woman rode by me on the sidewalk, nearly knocking me down. Once she was past me, she tossed the word, "Sorry" over her shoulder. I projected my voice a bit - not really yelling, just speaking a little louder than normal: "You know, in Boulder, it's illegal to ride on the sidewalk when a bike lane is provided. The police can fine you up to $150." She slammed on the brakes and looked back at me, asking, "Who died and made you my God?" I smiled, and replied, "No one. I'm just speaking as a concerned citizen of the city of Boulder. I was trying to save you money and grief." She grunted at me, then turned back to her bike.
As she pushed off, she again, turned her head over her shoulder, and (this time) yelled at me, "Stupid fat whore!" - That was what set me off. From that point on I just parroted what she said back at her, without yelling. We were about 4 feet apart, and, as I noted, I'm lucky that she didn't use anything but words against me.... She slammed her brakes on and shrilly demanded, "What did you say?" Which I repeated back at her with the exact intonation she had used. After several more (six or seven) poor attempts at insults, she yelled everyone's throw-away line, "F-- you!" at me. I quietly said, "No thank you." She gripped her handlebars, put her foot on a pedal, and finally said, "You are just an idiotic bitch!" But she paused and listened to what I said in return, which was, "No, I'm just parroting an idiotic bitch, who has definitely not used her education to become proficient, or eloquent, in the use of English." She looked at me for several seconds, then charged off on her bicycle, still on the sidewalk, and muttering under her breath. I crossed the street and went to visit my psychiatrist, as scheduled. (I ran into my therapist in the hallway, told her what I had done, and that I had felt extraordinarily pleased with myself afterwards. She just warned me to be sure not to say anything like that to people who are larger and stronger than I am.....)
I was walking on a narrow strip of sidewalk, on my way to the bus stop. Beside me, there was a 3.5 foot wide designated bike path, totally clean and totally clear of riders, that adjoins the street. A woman rode by me on the sidewalk, nearly knocking me down. Once she was past me, she tossed the word, "Sorry" over her shoulder. I projected my voice a bit - not really yelling, just speaking a little louder than normal: "You know, in Boulder, it's illegal to ride on the sidewalk when a bike lane is provided. The police can fine you up to $150." She slammed on the brakes and looked back at me, asking, "Who died and made you my God?" I smiled, and replied, "No one. I'm just speaking as a concerned citizen of the city of Boulder. I was trying to save you money and grief." She grunted at me, then turned back to her bike.
As she pushed off, she again, turned her head over her shoulder, and (this time) yelled at me, "Stupid fat whore!" - That was what set me off. From that point on I just parroted what she said back at her, without yelling. We were about 4 feet apart, and, as I noted, I'm lucky that she didn't use anything but words against me.... She slammed her brakes on and shrilly demanded, "What did you say?" Which I repeated back at her with the exact intonation she had used. After several more (six or seven) poor attempts at insults, she yelled everyone's throw-away line, "F-- you!" at me. I quietly said, "No thank you." She gripped her handlebars, put her foot on a pedal, and finally said, "You are just an idiotic bitch!" But she paused and listened to what I said in return, which was, "No, I'm just parroting an idiotic bitch, who has definitely not used her education to become proficient, or eloquent, in the use of English." She looked at me for several seconds, then charged off on her bicycle, still on the sidewalk, and muttering under her breath. I crossed the street and went to visit my psychiatrist, as scheduled. (I ran into my therapist in the hallway, told her what I had done, and that I had felt extraordinarily pleased with myself afterwards. She just warned me to be sure not to say anything like that to people who are larger and stronger than I am.....)
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