A Complete Pastiche

Where to start?  Monday night we had a series of serious accidents in Boulder - a man with a seizure disorder combined alcohol and percocet and decided to drive his Ford F-150 truck back to Longmont. He was driving about 90 mph in a residential area, clipped one car. hit several more parked vehicles, then rear-ended a line of four vehicles who were stopped at a red light.  The impact pushed the first car out into the intersection, where it was T-boned and two other cars hit the car that did the T-boning.  Ten people were taken to the hospital, including several children.  The driver who caused all the destruction, afterwards said that he doesn't remember anything except a loud noise and his airbags deploying.  He suffered a broken elbow.  The car that was T-boned, however, had a 7-year-old girl in the passenger seat; she had been leaning up against the passenger door.  Just before the impact occurred that pushed them into oncoming traffic, the girl's invisible friend (a werewolf named Charlie), asked her to reach for something in her mother's lap.  The girl leaned away from the door - which was bent in two by the crash.  She did have a very bloody, small cut to her head, from hitting the dash - but investigators say that had she been sitting as she was before her invisible friend's request, she'd have been killed instantly.  Charlie, wherever you are, thank you!
   This past week, a 20-year-old college student was clocked doing 62 mph in a 25 mph zone on Chincoteague Island.  When police got the young man to stop, he reeked of alcohol, and had white powder around his nostrils.  Evidence swabs were taken, even though he freely admitted that since he was on vacation, he figured it wouldn't hurt anyone if he drank and did cocaine while driving....
   The Maryland end of Assateague uses contraceptive darts on the ponies, to prevent over-breeding, and, thus over-grazing.  This past week, a red and white pinto filly arrived as the newest addition to the Maryland bands.
   And a reminder, that if you  live in the Boulder area, there are 77 cats and kittens up for FREE adoption tomorrow at the Boulder Valley Humane Society...   If you can afford to adopt, please do.
   Four of my basketball teams were invited to the March Madness "Dance" - I'll be rooting for the CU Buffaloes, CSU Rams, Georgetown Hoyas, and the Florida Gators.  Here's to good sportmanship!