The Snarting Librarian

It was very, ... um ... brisk outside this morning. It was 2 degrees outside, with a wind chill of -7. Why did I go out, like a lunatic? Because I was out of the kits favorite dry cat food. And I also grabbed some milk and more cocoa mix. We are hoping to reach 20 today, followed by another low of 2; we'll have a heat wave with a high of 38 on Friday, then back into the 20s for highs and another snowstorm on Sunday. Lovey is burrowed under the bed cover and Banichi is in my lap. It was too cold for either of them to go out this morning; they both sniffed at the open patio door and retreated. More powder fell last night, and there will be more this afternoon. The biggest problem is that this snow is super for skiing, boarding, and sledding, but it's so dry it won't stick together to make snowballs, snowmen, or even a snow fort... Rats! - Oh, my! The sun just appeared and I need to draw my curtains because of the glare!

I was wrong about Zenyatta. She is officially retired from racing and the track. There was a small retirement ceremony for her Sunday at Santa Anita; she was cheered, her owners and trainer were cheered, but Governor Schwartznegger was booed. There will be a bigger retirement ceremony later this month, and then she will leave California to become a broodmare in Kentucky. Now the question is: to whom will she be bred? .... Yesterday, here in Boulder, a woman was sitting on the bench at an enclosed bus stop when a man lost control of his SUV and plowed into the plexi-glass and steel building, bench, and lady. The woman suffered from a broken leg, head trauma, multiple scrapes, cuts and bruises, and was in serious condition at the local hospital. The driver (who was ticketed for excessive speed in icy conditions) was unhurt. That is why I stay inside as much as possible when it's this cold and icy outside. .... I decided long ago that I am just rude, crude, uncouth and obnoxious because I cannot contain my mirth when it comes to slap stick, prat falls and flatulence. As I am a klutz, and full of gas, I frequently laugh at myself from sheer embarrassment. One day, while walking from the EPA Library down the glass-panelled hallway to the ladies restroom, I sneezed tremendously several times while passing open office doors. - The problem was that my nether parts decided to end each sneeze with an equally tremendous gaseous explosion. I left great gusts of laughter behind me - until the following odor took their breath away. (I was known for a year as "the Snarting Librarian.")I just finished reading a book of Swedish folktales and legends - imagine my surprise when I discovered that quite a few folktales included stories of flatulence and their consequences. I no longer feel quite so uncouth. Have a happy day!