Mondegreens

I'm certainly guilty of mondegreens, and I know that both my parents were, too.  A mondegreen is a term for misheard and misunderstood song lyrics.  It originatd with a Scots ballad; the real words of the song are, "They have slain the Earl of Murray, and laid him on the green."  A writer who had heard the song, but didn't know the correct words, always sang those lines as: 'They have killed the Earl of Murray, and Lady Mondegreen."  That's how mondegreens got their names....

I grew up in the 1960s and 70s, listening to a combination of classical music, rock 'n' roll, country, folk, and Dixieland jazz.  Mom and Dad both enjoyed a wide variety of musical expressions, and I was taught to enjoy all of them.  As the music grew louder, and as singers stopped enunciating clearly, the world of mondegreens grew enormously.  I remember Mom asking me about a Kenny Rogers song ("Lucille") - he sang that he had "four hungry children and a crop in the field."  Mom wanted to know how he had four hundred children.   I am going to list a few of my favorite mondegreens - I laughed until I cried over some of them....

From God Bless America: Stand beside her, and guide her, through the night with the light from a bulb.
From The Battle Hymn of the Republic: He is trampling down the village where the great giraffe is stored.
From various Christmas songs: Round John Virgin, Mother and Child.
 Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call....
 Joy to the World!  The Lord has Gum!
 Get dressed, ye merry gentlemen ....  (Shades of Charles II's court?!?)
 Police got my Dad!  (Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad")
From the late '50s, "Who Wrote the Book of Love" by the Monotones became "Who Rode the Moo Cow Now?"
From Roy Orbison's Pretty Woman:  Pretty Woman, won't you lick my leg?
From the Beach Boy's Help Me, Rhonda: Since she left me, there've been owls pukin' in my bed... (real lyric: Since she put me down, I've been out doin' in my head...)
I loved Patrick McGoohan in Secret Agent, so I just about lost it when I read about Johnny Rivers' song: Secret Asian Man
Bob Dylan even has a mondegreen: Dead ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind...
From The Beatles' Lucy in the Sky (With Diamonds): The girl with colitis goes by...  and: Lucy's in a fight, with Linus!
And The Beatles' Michelle: Michelle, my bell, Sunday monkey no play piano song, no piano song... (real lyrics: Michelle, ma belle, Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble...)
Jimmy Buffet, in Margaritaville, "Searchin' for my lost singer from Mars..."  is actually searching for his last shaker of salt...
The Fifth Dimension sang about The Age of Aquarius: Who is the daddy of the angel Aquarius?, which was actually "It is the dawning of the age of Aquarius..."
The Monkees sang "I'm a Believer"; some folks heard: Then I saw her face, Now I'm gonna leave her...
I loved Credence Clearwater Revival - especially There's a Bad Moon on the Rise - which was mondegreened into "There's a bathroom on the right..."
Manfred Mann, in Blinded By the Light, makes reference to a Deuce Coupe - revved up like a Deuce - that has become "wrapped up like a douche"
And, loving Rafael Sabatini, and his book Scaramouche, I was very delighted to have Queen sing, in Bohemian Rhapsody,  "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?'  That line has been reported as: Scallaboosh, Scallaboosh, will you do the banned tango?
 But the one that made me laugh until I choked was from Robert Palmer's song, Addicted to Love,  which was mangled into: Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove!